I'm Gonna Hire A Wino
  

I'm Gonna Hire A Wino


I'm Gonna Hire a Wino

I came crawling home last Night,
Like many Nights before
Finally made it to my Feet
As she opened up the Door.

And she said:
"You're not gonna do this anymore"

She said:
"I'm gonna' hire a Wino
To decorate our Home
So you'll feel more at ease here
And you won't need to roam

We'll take out the Dining Room Table
And put a Bar along that Wall
And a Neon Sign, to point the Way
To our Bathroom down the Hall"

She said:
"Just bring those Friday Paychecks
And I'll cash them all right here
And I'll keep on Tap
-For all your Friends -
Their favorite kind of Beer

And for you, I'll always keep in Stock
Those soft aluminum Cans
And when you're feeling
MACHO
You can crush them like a
MAN"

She said:
"We'll rip out all the Carpet
And put Sawdust on the Floor
Serve hard boiled Eggs and Pretzels
And I won't cook no more

There'll be Monday night Football
On TV above the Bar
And a Payphone in the Hallway
When your Friends can't find their Car"

She said:
"I'm gonna' hire a Wino
To decorate our Home
So you'll feel more at ease here
And you won't need to roam

We'll take out the Dining Room Table
And put a Bar along that Wall
And a Neon Sign, to point the Way
To our Bathroom down the Hall"

She said:
"You'll get friendly Service
And for added Atmosphere
I'll slip on something sexy
And I'll cut it clear to here

Then you can slap my Bottom
Every time you tell a Joke
Just as long as you keep tipping
And I'll laugh until you're broke"

She said:
"Instead of a Family Quarrel
We'll have a Bar-room Brawl
When the Ham Bear say's its closing time
You won't have far to crawl

And when you run out of Money
You'll have me to thank
You can sleep it off in the Morning
When I'm putting it in the Bank"

She said:
"I'm gonna' hire a Wino
To decorate our Home
So you can feel more at ease here
You won't have to roam

Then when you and your Friends
Get off from Work
And you have a powerful Thirst.
Well, there won't be any Reason
Why you can't stop off here first."

She said:
"I'm gonna' hire a Wino
To decorate our Home
So you'll feel more at ease here
You won't need to roam

We'll take out the Dining Room Table
Put a Bar along that Wall
And a Neon Sign, to point the Way
To our Bathroom down the Hall"

She said:
"I'm gonna' hire a Wino
To decorate our Home
So you'll feel more at ease here
You won't need to roam

We'll take out the Dining Room Table
And put a Bar along that Wall
And a Neon Sign, to point the Way
To our Bathroom down the Hall"


( Written By D. Blackwell )


 (  Final Arrangement  By  Ray Pfob )